Serenity Salsa
The only dip that will make you see the cosmos in every bite. (From the editors of The Onion and the FDA.)
Ingredients
- 3 ripe tomatoes, chopped
- 1/2 cup fresh cilantro
- 1 red onion, diced
- 2 jalapeños (optional, for the spiritually restless)
- Juice of 1 lime
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- 1 tsp sea salt
- 1/4 cup water (to achieve the perfect serenity)
Instructions
- Warm a stone slab in the fireplace (or use a solar oven, if you're feeling zen). Once warm, place the tomatoes and cilantro on it.
- Chop the red onion and jalapeños with the reverence of a monk chopping incense.
- Add everything to a communal bowl, sprinkle with lime juice, olive oil, and sea salt.
- Mix with your hands, chanting the Serenity Mantra: “Om salsa om.”
- Let the mixture rest for 7 minutes, during which visualize a galaxy of flavors.
- Serve with warm naan, carrots, or your roommate’s ego.