Privacy Policy (Also Known as the Secret Life of Your Data)

Last updated on April 1st, 2025 – because even policies get a sense of humor.

Article I: The Grand Compromise

We, the magically cursed servers behind this page, promise to collect as little of your data as possible. In fact, we only collect the following: your IP address (so we know where not to send spam), your browser's user‑agent (to pretend we are a robot), and any cookies you voluntarily accept. That's it. No selfies, no lunch preferences, no secret dreams about talking to squirrels.

Article II: The Right to Be Forgotten (or at Least to Hide from Your Ex)

If you ever decide you want to disappear from the internet, just click the button below and we’ll “forget” you… for about 30 days. After that, we’ll just pretend you never existed, but we’ll keep a tiny spreadsheet titled “Regrets – Who Owes Me a Payback?” just in case.

Article III: Data Retention Countdown

Below is a playful countdown showing how many days we’ll keep your minimal data before we hit the delete button. It’s like a New Year’s resolution for us.

Data retention: 30 days left before we forget you
⚠️ You’re now officially a paid subscriber to the absurdity of data collection! 🎉